Tag Archives: goals

Life’s Woes… Gateway to Success

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At the beginning of the year I posted the article, A New Year, A New Beginning.  It seems like yesterday, but it was more than six months ago.  Where has the time gone?  Has this year been what you expected?  In the spirit of transparency, I’ll confess that I’ve had my own share of unexpected setbacks.  That’s the interesting thing about life, it seems as soon as you decide to pursue your dreams life has a way of bringing you to your knees.

A famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson states, “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”  While I believe in the essence of this quote, I also think ‘all hell breaks loose’ in your life too.  Why is that?  I’ve had some time to ponder this question and I think the primary reason is preparation. 

As human beings, we often grow the most during life struggles and failures.  When we decide to pursue our dreams, it requires us to change.  In many instances, we haven’t developed the skills that will help us achieve success at the next level.  Consider the following:

Relationship Troubles – Trials in your relationships help you to:

  • Identify what’s important
  • Establish proper boundaries
  • ‘Weed-out’ relationships that are no longer mutually beneficial

A word of caution is required here; relationship troubles can be ‘sticky’ because only those people closest to you have the ability to hurt you.  That being said, your family and friends may not embrace your change.  You will have to be strong enough to move pass this if you really want to pursue your goals.  It’s also important to recognize that you may experience some ‘battle’ wounds along the way.  Additionally, there are some relationships that are indispensable.  Define why the relationship is important to you and do what you can to sustain it.  It may take some time, but it’s worth it.  No matter what you do or where you go, relationships are essential to your success.  The struggle that you’re experiencing may be the preparation you need for the next level.

Financial Difficulties – Perhaps you’ve been downsized or experienced an unexpected financial setback.  Financial woes force you to focus on money management and establish priorities.  Additionally, if you aspire to become an entrepreneur, financial stewardship should be an essential part of your plan.  I’ve heard that God won’t bless you with more until you prove that you can handle what you have.  It’s amazing how creative we can be during a time of lack.  We find ways to ‘stretch’ everything! 

Health Concerns – I’m sure that we can all do a better job of taking care of ourselves.  It’s a shame that it takes a health scare to make us wake up and pay attention.  Change is hard but necessary.  We all have our own opinions on Health Care Reform.  While I do believe that no one should be turned away or denied coverage because of their socioeconomic level, I foresee that individuals with predisposed health conditions may be required to pay more for medical insurance.  Years ago, you were never asked whether or not you used tobacco products.  Questions were initially added to life insurance applications, and now they also appear on medical insurance applications.  Today, if you apply for life insurance, you may be required to take a physical.  If you’re overweight, have high blood pressure, or other medical conditions, you may be denied or required to pay a higher premium.  I believe those same questions will become a standard part of all health insurance applications in the near future.  This change will significantly impact the African American community.  According to a study performed by the Office of Minority Health, about four of five African American women are overweight or obese.  African American women also have the highest rate of obesity in the U.S.  Our lifestyles have to change.  I am talking to myself too!

Michael Jordan once said, “If you’re trying to achieve, there will be roadblocks. I’ve had them; everybody has had them. But obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.”  The lesson that has been invaluable for me this year is to continue moving.  Setbacks can often cause you to become stuck.  If you become stuck, you can’t change your situation.  Life will not stop for you.  I know that this is easier said than done, but don’t focus on the problem, identify the lesson.

A New Year, A New Beginning

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The beginning of a new year is always a time of reflection and goal setting.  As we enter a new year, most people experience one of two emotions:  elation in achieving their goals, or dread because they didn’t.  As a society, we often view things as all or nothing.  The problem with this approach is that it doesn’t allow us to complete a fair assessment of our performance. 

Think back to when you were in school, most of us had letter or number grades; pass or fail grades were a rarity.  Yet, this is often how we measure ourselves on a daily basis.  The pass or fail approach to measuring success often leads to self sabotage because we berate ourselves when we fall short.  So if you are elated because you’ve had a great year and achieved your goals, let me join you in celebrating your success!  Rock on!  On the other hand, if you didn’t make the cut and are a bit depressed, this article is for you.

If you’re reflecting on your year and you’re not too happy with your performance, or are embarrassed because you did not achieve your goals, this is your heart to heart moment.  Let’s consider the following:

  • Did you make progress toward your goal?  For instance, your goal was to lose 20 lbs, but you lost 5 lbs.  A mile is comprised of 2,000 steps; what step are you on?  If you can honestly say that you are one step closer to your goal, cut yourself some slack and celebrate.  Focusing on the perceived failure will not help you succeed
  • Did you expect to succeed?  This is a tough question because we all know that the answer should be “yes”, but I ask that you search your heart and answer this honestly.  The definition of self-fulfilling prophecy states that what you predict or believe will happen becomes your reality.  In essence, if you believe that you can achieve your goals; your behavior aligns with your beliefs to ensure success
  • Was your goal a SMART goal (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-related)?  In the book, Rags to RICHES, we discuss goal setting.  Although the discussion is related to financial goals, the principles are universal.  Although one key ingredient to effective goal setting is ensuring that your goals are realistic, I urge you to dream big.  Don’t downsize your dream.  Remember, if you can believe it, you can achieve it.  If you understand that big dreams must be digested “one bite at a time”,  you can create the realistic stepping stones that will lead to your desired result

Ultimately, if you did not achieve the success you wanted in 2010, we’re now in 2011 – a new year, a new beginning.  If you continue to focus on what was not accomplished in 2010, you are wasting precious time because you cannot go back, but you can move forward.  As you make plans for 2011, celebrate every success no matter how small.  Remember, what you focus on expands.  Successful people speak well of themselves to themselves.  From a biblical perspective, there is nowhere in the Gospel that you can reference where Jesus puts himself down.  If He didn’t do it and we are made in His image, we should not do it either.

The New Year should be a time of celebration and great anticipation.  Don’t allow yourself to become a victim to your past.  Cindy Trimm, author of Commanding Your Morning, says it best:  “As your deepest driving desire is, so is your will; as your will is, so are your deeds; as your deeds are, so is your destiny.”  Remember that goal setting is not an all or nothing concept.  The New Year is a promise of a new beginning.  Embrace your new beginning and choose success.  Happy New Year!

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